Air Crash
The worst air disaster in three years happened just outside
The cause of the crash is unknown .
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12 years ago
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2 comments:
This is close, but a little too rambling. You need to start with the news (what happened, not when) and then tighten it up.
Please try again.
Better! But it's still a little too long and you need to get to the news (131 people killed) more quickly:
In the worst air disaster in three years, all 131 people on board a US Air jet were killed yesterday when it crashed just outside Pittsburgh.
You can give the rest of the info in subsequent paragraphs.
8/10
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